Comel - That inner child

The Universe ... The Universal Creator .... World's Greatest Designer .... ALL refers to that One Great Force whom I know is the Almighty Only God.

And it's really amazing how His miracle works.

I was in pain for the longest time. I had numbed myself for the last 9 years and everytime I un-numbed myself, I'll be on the brink of insanity. It didn't help that your face was bruised on the second day of Eid WHEN you finally thought that things are getting better. It didn't help either when your cries for help, to help you heal ... was turned on a deaf ear to that one person you thought actually matters. Not even when you're just so close to giving up life altogether ... I was suicidal on that very day and in so much pain physically but not as bad as the emotional pain I was suffering.

But God has His plans for us. Somehow we need to complete that one phase of our journey, feel that pain to fully understand the lessons and meanings behind it. Though as much as I believe those words myself, it certainly is tougher to walk the talk.

Today should be a whole new era of Me. For the first time in my life, I got in touch with that inner child of mine during a therapy session I had with Lis. I never imagine that I ever actually needed one. But God heard how that inner me was screaming for help. It actually took awhile for me to recognize the need for me to get help myself. That ... after being pushed to see it which I'm eternally grateful for.

I got in touch with Comel - My inner 6 yrs old child who WAS confused, abused, abandoned and scared. It was indeed one powerful session... as a session later, Comel have said what she needs to say. In one of the exercises that I did with Lis was the things I want to say to Comel in less than 10 words, it goes:

You have the POWER WITHIN YOU to control your life!

It was emotional. But rather it was my pact telling all the spirit in me that very powerful message.

And I was so pumped up with life. Untill a very disheartening comment from whom I believe I knew who hides behind an anonymous.

I reacted.

Which was not very smart. I'm grateful having a friend to point that out to me that I was flashed back to the very statement I wrote on my first grateful list 101 last night:

Alhamdullillah for waking up each day with gratitudes and being fully aware that my life has the support of the Almighty God

So yes ... I am truly grateful that I am now more aware of the actions that I took in my life and being gratefully conscious.

I acknowledged that I attracted negativity due to my negative actions thus the deliberate deletion of all the negative postings I had ever posted.

I am grateful that I have realized that we are individually different and to hold my sarcasm to the lesser learnt.

I am grateful to have a heart that forgives thus I forgave those who wronged me unjustly.

I'm on my way to healing ... as Comel heals.

"I realized that you didn't draw a shoe on Comel .. and now you did" Lis said

"Oh yeah ... you see I actually drew it after that affirmation exercise. And it's a pink shoe. Actually I was thinking of Dorothy" .... I said

Lis smiled .. "Yeap ... Red Ruby Shoe. Klik Klak .. it's magic"

And we go .. hmmm.

I got my red ruby shoe after that session. It is a metaphor for me. A point of realization that now I have a shoe to go places. And best of all it's a special red ruby shoes.

Kilk Klak ... wishes comes true ; now that I am fully aware I have the backing of The Almighty.

Life will be beautiful again.

Amin.