Gembeng

Ok so I was emotional. Well yes I can't it help it that I'm such a gembeng person. Gembeng is a Malay word for one who's easily emotional and shed too much tears.

But really, I'm just a normal person who happens to have a very very soft spot for families .. well ermm .. among couple of things.

So what was I thinking to even suggest a family meeting at the hospital's cafeteria?! Anyway, after series of intermittent teary eyed sessions and a clown's nose later, the tribe spoke.

One of the things that I truly respect in the Rasidi's tradition is .. muzakarah.
Muzakarah is an Arabic term for discussion/ open dialogue to address issues. It is in fact a practice encourage in Islam. Well I might not be 100% accurate with the definition, but it could be something like that .. to the best of my knowledge.

I don't think we're a very much pious bunch, but we are just decent people who value family ties and strives to do just the right thing. And I'm glad that we have come to an agreement that we do hope could be the best for Mak. Wallahua'lam.

Having an open dialogue with the family has always been an emotional one .. well at least for me. It was made worse that Kak Shidah was just as gembeng as me. So I cried, she cried, making me cried more .. and thus we cried together-gether ..

Drama.

We all love Mak dearly and we're working on caring for her the best that we can, in unison.

We ... her children.

I believe that is what arwah Ayah would want us to do. I do hope I shall never forget that. WE will never forget that.

Mak Lam, my mother

"Lauk pindang dah masak?" It came out from one of Mak Lam's best buddies when I first walked into the hospital ward. All other 5 pairs of eyes turned to me. I was like ... did I forgot something?? Mak Lam can only managed a very weak smile and said that she have asked for Kak Yah to cook it for her.

Mak lam and her 5 buddies have been life long friends. They've been with her in her good and bad times since they were colleagues in their early 20s. That was a whole of 40 or more years of friendship.

My mom-in-law is not rich, but she have always been surrounded by people who truly cares for her as she had for others. She would never have a second thought to help a friend in need .. and especially so for all her children.

Today, I saw sadness in her eyes as I heard, the sadness in her voice just 2 days ago.

The day that Mr hubby said that he found her alone at home, peeing on herself. I have controlled the tears from flowing. There was so much sadness in my heart. How can we let her come to this?

I called kak Shidah probing how she'd feel if we take Mak to live with us. I know she would have no problem with it but mak was having reservation. I called her and address her concern. And she said .."I'm not having the normal ill ... I'm really ill I can't bathe myself."

It made me so sad... and I wished I could just hugged her then. "Mak, I'll give you a morning bath k and abg will take care of you in the afternoon".

That day when I went home, I dashed to my own mom's room and hugged her. I kissed her many times as my tears just kept flowing. I love Mak Lam as I have loved my mom and I just can't imagine if the same happened to my mom.

I've asked my parents how they'd feel if we get mak Lam to stay with us and I was just so glad that they're very supportive about it.

I just had a feeling that Mak Lam is giving up.

It have been a week that she barely eats or drinks. Kak Shidah mentioned that many times she have caught Mak Lam gazing longingly at arwah Ayah's wall framed photos. She must have missed him.

And we have done nothing to ease that pain. We practically haven't tried hard enough. We... her children. And it made me sadder that Kak Yah mentioned she will only bring her the lauk pindang on Sunday. I just wish that she could at least drop by tomorrow.

It was sad. For now, I can't bear to break that news to her.

God, please help us make it better for her.